Is Santa Claus really all that?

Santa Claus has always been such a conflicting figure

When Bryan, our eldest, was six years old, he lamented, “Dad, I’ve been scared of Santa for four years. Now, this year, I’m not scared, and I don’t know what to ask for.” Fine time for a brain freeze! After all, he knew this was THE guy holding the key to his childhood happiness.

Truth be told, Santa Claus, is a very conflicting figure. On the one hand, we teach children to beware of strangers, yet we fully expect them to feel comfortable cozying up to this white-haired man they see only once a year and divulging their secret wishes. Moreover, we insist they help document their great pleasure in this encounter by smiling for the camera. Talk about cognitive dissonance! No wonder so many children cry during the obligatory photo shoot with Santa. They’re terrified!

Even if sitting on Santa’s lap doesn’t make them cry, children may be confused by seeing him lounging around for hours on end in shopping malls. Just how does he manage to get away from his workshop right before Christmas? Somehow he’s ubiquitous, like a rock star in every mall. Children forced to stand in long lines are expected to adore him when all they get is just a moment of his time. Then, right before the Big Day arrives, he’s nowhere to be found. If Santa is really all that, then why doesn’t he at least stop in and say “hello” to the kids scanning the skies, hopelessly trying to get a glimpse of him? I mean, if the elves offloaded all his work so he could sit around from Thanksgiving through most of December, then certainly he could figure out a way to pay a friendly visit.

What is most bothersome about Father Christmas, however, is that he plays favorites. Here’s this guy the entire world esteems as benevolent, jolly, and generous, but in the end the nice kids get the toys and the naughty ones get lumps of coal. What kind of a father figure does that? I say, Kids, if you can pull it off, skip the lines and the photos and hedge your bets by writing a letter. If Santa is really all that, he'll deliver.