Kids can learn to enjoy helping
OK, I admit it. Lately, I’ve let my mothering skills get a little rusty. Not surprisingly, my once-clever job charts no longer fly with my three teenage boys. But even though they’re almost grown, there's still work to do, and I’ve somehow forgotten strategies for getting them to help. Here are just three that I now remember being effective with kids of almost all ages:
- Work alongside them. Offering to help turns you into a partner rather than a pesty parent. It also allows you to teach as you go and can provide that hard-to-find time with children.
- Crank up the tunes. Good music has a way of driving away the dread and drudgery of w-o-r-k. Around here, we’ve even dubbed our upbeat songs “workin’ music.”
- “Finish with a swim.” This was my dad’s philosophy. After all, who doesn’t like to be rewarded after doing some honest-to-goodness labor? At the end of the day, we all need something to look forward to.
If I combine all three, we may just get some work done. What are your best tactics?
My experienc with a 16 moonth old is different than yours with your teenagers. But with natalie its all about songs and positive reinforcement. I can't believe how much she does already to help pick up toys and just things that I drop. Love it!
ReplyDeleteStarting young is another good strategy. If children learn to work early, they'll at least have the skills they need later. I once heard a story of a young woman who spent her first year in college resenting her mother for not teaching her how to work. Unlike her roommates, she had to spend hours doing simple tasks that she'd never practiced doing in her own home.
ReplyDeleteOne thing that worked with my 5 kids is that I would make a list of all the jobs to be done Saturday morning. Then I would let them pick the first job they would want, then in reverse order they picked a second job. They seemed to work happier and better if they chose what to do.
ReplyDeleteChoosing helps empower kids. I'm glad you reminded me about reversing the order for the second job.
ReplyDeleteGood suggestions...It is interesting, too, that times have changed. A box of Twinkies always did the trick when my kids were younger. They worked for their grandfather, who paid them very well. For many reasons, paying my kids for work around the house was never an option. Plus, I could have never competed with my father-in-law’s pay scale. But if I had a box of Twinkies—day-old at that—my boys were quick and happy to do their jobs...It seems to me that kids these days are simply given everything they want and need. That makes bargaining a lot more difficult. Creativity may be the key. Or possibly it might be showing some restrain in what is just handed to kids. They need to know that life does have a price tag and they must often work for things they need.
ReplyDeletePaying children for helping around the house has always been a problematic issue. On the one hand, sometimes younger children need a source of income, and working for a parent is the only way to create that. On the other hand, it seems everyone should take partial stewardship over the home they live in. One solution for helping kids earn money might be doing jobs above and beyond what is normally expected.
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