Just 3 tips for mealtime madness

Life can be messy; so can mealtime

Studies have long touted the benefits of families eating together, especially the undeniable superior academic performance of children who eat at least four meals a week with their parents. I wonder, though, if all the glowing statistics still bear out if mealtime is chaotic and—dare I admit?—contentious. In a house with lots of boys, we often resort to showing off muscles or quoting lines from favorite movies during meals. At other times, Scout humor and similar inane banter are enough entertainment around our table. Still, it’s good to have a few strategies to improve that daily family time. Here are just three:

1. Ask some questions. An easy question to start with is “What did you learn today?” but that one does require some mental effort to answer. My sister, a mother of ten, made sure even the smallest child had a chance to speak by designing a trio of dinnertime questions: “What were the best, worst, and most interesting things about your day?”
2. Share some news. I used to quiz my kids on Greek and Latin root words during meals, but the words weren’t received with the same enthusiasm I felt in sharing them. (Go figure.) Current events go over much better, and they give everyone a chance to form opinions about the world. Sharing news about our extended family is fun to do at the dinner table, too. (For example, Who just got engaged? Who had a baby and what is his/her name?) When my brother’s kids achieve something noteworthy, everyone toasts to their achievements.
3. Read a book. This is my number one best trick for getting everyone to be quiet, which, quite honestly, has sometimes been my number one goal at mealtimes. It's hard to resist listening to a good story. Of course, reading aloud makes it hard for me to eat, but the tradeoff is worth it.

Life is messy, and sometimes it’s messiest of all during meals, both figuratively and literally. However, over time, messy as it may be, coming together for a meal is not only good for the brain but is also good for families, allowing them to reconnect while shaping their unique identities.

What does your family do during meals?