Swimming, driving, and kissing

Some things simply must be practiced in real time

Some things just take practice. To illustrate this principle to my colleagues, I once created a presentation using three examples of activities that can only be mastered by doing: swimming, driving, and kissing. Talk about these activities all you want, but unless you actually do them, you’re not going to get any better.

From having listened to swim coaches for years, I sometimes fancy myself as kind of an expert at swim strokes but put me in the water, and I’m really no good. In fact, I can’t even float. Similarly, Mark (age 14) shares his driving expertise freely with me as he sits in the passenger seat or, worse, the backseat. And kissing . . . well, he better not be telling me how that is done anytime soon. In fact, he better never tell me how that’s done!

Some things you can learn from a book, but some things simply must be practiced at the moment. So it goes with much of our most important pursuits. Take parenting, for instance. Lamaze classes and child development books and even well-meaning, seasoned parents can try to prepare us for what lies ahead, but until we’re actually nursing that baby or calming that two-year-old or counseling that teenager, we can’t fully know how it’s best done. We just have to practice over and over, honing our skills until the nurturing and loving come naturally.