Friday, February 3, 2012

Back in the day





Letters can capture inescapable truths about our lives

Back in the day (before emails, text messages, Skype, blogs, instant messages, Facebook, and inexpensive phone calls), my family of origin used to write letters to stay connected. Each of the 13 children would contribute a monthly update, and one person would mail copies to everyone. (Yes, we actually used "snail mail" - stamps and all.) Recently, while cleaning out her garage, my sister-in-law found those letters and sent me the ones I’d written. One of them from 18 years ago helped me remember what parenting was like back in the day of tight budgets, toddlers, and tension. Here’s a portion of it:

The Perry Press
February 14, 1994

It’s a record: I sat for 37 minutes to nurse and read the family letters and didn’t get interrupted once. In fact, the oldest three are still playing nicely outside. So, I’m pressing my luck and making a stab at writing my own (overdue) family letter.

January was again our month to have things break . . . the kitchen cupboard, the toilet, the VCR. But the granddaddy of them all was losing our Chevy Nova to a commute-hour accident. Fortunately, Ken is fine. But, unfortunately, we had to buy a new car, and we didn’t carry collision insurance….

Today at Target a man came up to me and introduced himself as a great-grandfather. “I hope you don’t mind if I say something,” he said, “but your little boy here [Craig] was turning around in the cart hitting your baby [Grant], and he almost poked him in the eye!” For some reason, I wanted to cry, but instead, I said, “Actually, he has poked him in the eye before.” Moral of the story: never go to Target with four little children. Better yet, never go anywhere in public with four little children….

Monday, February 28, 1994

The day after I wrote the above letter, KaRynn broke out with chicken pox. Bryan broke out with them today. Ahhh! Could this be “the winter of our discontent”?

And finally, to all those of you who no longer struggle with little ones on Sunday mornings, here’s a bit of humor from yesterday at the Perry home that might bring back old memories:

8:45  Family prayers are all said. All children are dressed for church. Janet leaves with Grant to visit another ward [building]. Bryan is madly trying to make another crown to wear for his part as Pharoah in the Primary class presentation. (The one he made a week ago mysteriously disappeared just yesterday afternoon. He was too busy playing this morning to find it.)

8:55  Bryan’s crown is finished. Ken, in hopes of making it to the 9 o’clock sacrament meeting, rushes all three children out to the van. On the way, Bryan steps in dog mess on the front lawn. Ken screams. Craig, following close behind Bryan, also steps in the mess. Ken screams again.

9:00  Ken sends Bryan to clean off his own shoes. Bryan throws up in the garage. Ken screams. Sacrament meeting has started.

9:10  All shoes are clean and it’s time to leave. Bryan steps in the dog mess again, this time getting it on his pants as well. Ken laughs. Ken gives up the idea of rushing to sacrament meeting and decides to hose down the driveway, clean shoes, and change clothes.

9:30  Ken arrives at sacrament meeting. Bryan, wearing pants three inches too long, is wearing his crown . . . and a smile.

Archaic as they may seem now, old letters do have a way of capturing honest snapshots of life back in the day.

6 comments:

  1. Yes, that does bring back a host of memories. It is so great that you have them recorded at the time they happened. Sometimes we forget those details or others think we've always had obedient and picture perfect children!

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  2. Or worse, with time and memories blurred, we begin to think parenting wasn't such a challenge. Being a spouse and a mother is by far the most challenging thing I've ever done.

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  3. My dad had a tradition of writing each one of his three kids a letter every Monday morning. He'd arrive early at his dental practice before patients were due, and would sit and write to each one of us. This went on for more than 10 years, before he decided to "retire the pen" in about 2005. I cried when his last letter came and I read that it was his last. I was so grateful that I had kept nearly every single letter from those 10 years! They fill up half a drawer in a filing cabinet, but I can go back and reread them any time I want, and remember what was happening in his life and in mine through those handwritten letters. Priceless...

    I wish that I'd done a better job of recording some of the moments of my own life . . . my blog now serves that purpose, but there were a lot of years before blogs were around that are full of blurred memories!

    I laughed out loud reading about your Sunday morning fiasco, and could just picture the whole scene unfolding! It's good to know that we're all human, yell at our kids, step in dog mess, be late for church, and it's okay!

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  4. I love reading your blog. It always makes me smile. I, too, wish that I had kept a journal better - seemed I was too busy to do that. I agree, being a spouse and mother is by far the most challenging thing I've ever done, and hands down, it is the best and fulfilling my life-long dream. Thanks for your blogging, Janet.

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  5. @ Alyson: I'm fascinated to know what compelled your dad to START writing those letters, what was IN those letters, and what made him decide to STOP writing them. Whatever the reasons, those must be such a treasure to you! It's not too late for you to do that for YOUR children. You have great writing skills and I'm sure have a lot to say to them.

    @Annette: When the children were young and Ken was often away on church assignments, Sundays I tried to keep journals for them. I wish I written more and more often, but I'm certainly glad for every little thing I captured. The reason everyone says "It goes by so fast" is that we're so busy making it all happen, and living in the moment sometimes means trading off capturing the moment.

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